E.S. New Guy

so i went over to his house Wednesday and we watched the movie This Is The End. it was pretty funny but weird at the same time. his dog trooper sat in between us throughout the entire movie. he drove me home and on the ride home he was singing to the song Knock Knock by mac miller. he was actually pretty good. i just adore his voice its so comforting.

It's time.

I finally think its time to shut S out of my life. I just told people before that I stopped talking to him to get them of my back even though I still was talking to him. I've been talking to him today even. The things we talked about made me really think and realize I can do a lot better than him and I deserve better. I thought I wanted the same things he wanted but really we want two totally different things. I wanna settle down and get into a relationship while he just wants a girl to fuck and get action whenever he wants. He needs to know that you don't always get what you want. I've come to realize you have to work for what you want because if you don't you never know if it can happen or not. So I'm finally pushing him away and out of my life cause I don't need him. He made me miserable and I just dot need that again. JB fixed that. Now I'm gonna follow what I want because I know exactly what I want

My new goal

I love him and will do anything if not everything to get him back. I'm gonna push myself to the limit to get him to listen to how I feel about him. He will understand. JB I'm gonna get you <3

JB part 2....

so yeah i said i still loved him and i really meant it. I always said i will love him forever and always and he will be in my life forever.
:'(
but its time to move on and let go of him. thats something i thought i could never do since i tried it before but it never worked.but i have no choice this time i have to. its whats best for me. i cant stand the feeling of being hurt by him anymore or being upset about him and crying. that shouldnt happen. if someone cared about you for real then you shouldnt cry right? thats what i thought. im just not gonna talk to him for a long long long while. i need to forget all the feelings i have for him. and as much as i love him it all has to fade away. how can you forget someone you love so much. i know he doesnt feel the same even though i wish he did. i'll be waiting for you whenever your ready to show me you want me.


"It's painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go...but more painful to ask someone to stay when you know they want to leave.."

I love You but Goodbye.

i've been talking to this guy

he is planning on meeting up with me wednesday. its the first time we are hanging out. im a tad bit nervous. i really like him, my friend hates him. i want it to go well, but i kinda think its gonna be really awkward. he wants me to tackle him, but i think hes gonna end up on top of me for 1 hes a guy and 2 he was on the wrestling team....so yeah im definitely going to lose. i told him i was gonna kiss him to prove to him that he's cute and not ugly. he thinks he's ugly even though i keep saying he isnt and that he's absolutely cute. my friend thinks hes ugly as she thought my ex was ugly. guess what i have a different taste than she does.

What i wanna text this person

i wanna text them and say...

"can i ask you a serious question?"
why do you have to be so cute?(;
its impossible to not like you

New crush.

i like this new person. the only thing is. there a girl. im a girl. guess you could call me bi. shes actually the first girl i like who i talk to. she called me cute. im asking her to my schools homecoming bonfire next week. i think it will be really cool if she could come.